Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Chatting Chopsticks


In today’s life, we have become obsessed and overwhelmed with goods and materials. Like when my washing machine broke down, in the middle of the wash cycle, a couple of weeks ago. I threw my hands in the air, stared at the ceiling and cried out for mercy. I couldn’t even imagine how I’d react if my refrigerator went on the blink. Knock on wood!

We’ve become so dependent on and suckers for, devices and machines that make our daily lives comfortable and convenient. I feel vulnerable and naked when I leave home without my cell phone, and what strikes me about this, is that I hardly use the darn thing! At the same time, we tend to take many things, in life, for granted - whether it’s our health, relationships or the food we eat. Too often, we show little respect or appreciation for these things until we suddenly lose them.

One example of this, on a much lighter note - suppose you just moved into a new place, only with your minimum belongings. No furniture, no kitchenware…nothing but your clothes, toiletries and wallet. It’s late at night and you’re hungry, and want a warm meal. So you call a food joint and have some food delivered. You pay and tip the delivery person, and carry the package to your empty dining room.

While you go clean yourself up and get ready to eat, the awesome aroma of the Meatball Spaghetti, Soup and Grilled Garlic Chicken Caesar is just killing you. You’re psyched to grind and as you retrieve the food containers from the package, you start to notice something seriously wrong with this picture. No @#$%* utensils! Your anger mode has entered the Yellow Stage. You call the food joint in an effort to have the missing utensils brought over immediately, but there’s only a machine recording - they’ve just closed for the night. Your anger mode has now officially reached the Red Stage. Nearby stores are closed and you have no means of transportation. What do you do?

A) Use your hands/ fingers
B) Wake up your neighbor (a stranger in this case) & borrow some utensils

C) Cry yourself to sleep

D) Call your lawyer

Well, I suppose there’s no correct answer to this, but I’d go outside and look for tree branches that resemble chopsticks; I’d even climb a tree in the middle of the night if I had to…desperate moments call for desperate measures. Been there, done that. Definitely a suspicious act in the middle of the night, but man has got to do what he has got to do…to eat!

Hello! We’re talking about Spaghetti with Meatballs, here! One of my all-time favorites, so of course, I’d want to have the best dining experience possible! Utensils, please…!

Then again, I suppose I could always use my fingers if I didn’t have any luck finding a utensil substitute. I read somewhere that around 44% of the world’s population uses its fingers/ hands to eat. Fork and knife, and chopstick usage account for around 28% each. Now, despite the question of accuracy (current stats), these numbers do give us a general idea of the ways in which humans consume food.

Whether you use your fingers, forks or chopsticks, in most cases food is typically prepared with the manner of eating in mind. Although, even in utensil-dominant cultures, fingers/ hands are used on occasion. As featured in my previous posting, Onigiri (or Omusubi) is meant to be eaten with one's hands, similar to sandwiches and tacos…you basically don’t need any utensils. Sushi can also be eaten with your hands but when it comes to eating Sashimi in a civilized manner, you may want to consider using the Hashi (箸), Japanese for chopsticks.


Hashi or Ohashi (a politer way of saying it – see previous posting for the meaning behind "O") is another item that some of us take for granted. Although it has recently become a familiar utensil worldwide, it’s still mysterious to some. Most Japanese food dishes are prepared with the usage of the Hashi in mind, thus the relationship between the two are profound and interconnected. Let’s check out some of the basic roles of the Hashi with my professional Pitchman friend, Willy Inyo Faze. One thing about these guys...they know the art of selling.


Okay, enough of that…I think we get the point. Thank you, Willy, for sharing your professional insight with us. Loud and intimidating, Willy is one of those who could sell ice to Eskimos, and although I respect his sales pitch and presentation skills, I often have to say “Not! No way!” to some of the demonstrations. As questionable as some of the claims may seem to be, I think that some sales pitches are not totally untrue. They are, perhaps, just a little exaggerated. But in order to get one’s attention and the point across, I suppose you need to amplify and boost the message to a certain degree. They're not called pitchmen for nothing, after all.

Sure, it’s quite challenging to pick up a softball (or even a hardball) with the Hashi, but with the right Hashi, combined with the proper handling of it, you may just be able to. I think that’s what my friend Willy was trying to communicate.

It would be very difficult to pick up a softball with a regular-length Hashi. But if you use the longer ones, which are often used for cooking, perhaps it can be done. These longer versions can be very effective when you’re handling foods and ingredients in very hot situations such as frying Tempura, for instance. The longer reach helps keep your hand further away from the heat.


Along with the proper tool, the proper handling of the tool is essential. I’ve been instructed and scolded numerous times, during my life, for my poor handling of the Hashi. Each and every time, I ignored the instructions of my parents and mentors, and continued on in my own style.

I suppose there's a reason why there is a so-called proper way of using the Hashi. When you think about it, thousands of years of trying to perfect its usage has resulted in how we use it today. There's usually a reason behind it all.

Proper handling of the Hashi has its social implications, as well. One may be judged by how one handles one’s Hashi, quite similar to the etiquette of the fork and knife. Sure, you wouldn’t want to be labeled a barbarian when dining with your fiancé’s parents for the very first time or with a client who could bring you that multi-million-dollar contract!

But the reason for the proper usage (or form if you will), in this context, is about maximizing the proficiency. Proper handling of the Hashi should give you maximum leverage and control, with minimum strength and effort. I must admit, when I do see someone using the Hashi properly and skillfully, it does leave quite a good impression of that person. So, in essence, proper usage of the Hashi is not only functional, but aesthetically beautiful as well. It’s sort of like a martial arts expert doing the Kata (form), if you know what I mean. I should have listened to my parents and mentors when I still had the chance!

What is the so-called proper way?

I’m just a Transparent Belt (not even a White Belt, folks!). However, this is how I’d probably be instructed by a Hashi Sensei. Wax on, wax off...


Naughty Naughty Use of Hashi


In Japanese culture, people lift the bowl of rice or soup in one hand and bring it towards the mouth, to take the food in. Other cultures that use chopsticks may not practice this eating style.

So when speaking of manners and etiquette, I’m referring to the usage of Hashi (Japanese culture) and not to the chopstick culture in general. I mean, the languages they speak are entirely different, and despite some similarities, the food culture in each is generally different, as well. You may also note that even the chopsticks are slightly different amongst these cultures. For instance, the Hashi tends to have a sharper tip and is slightly shorter in length than Chinese chopsticks. Different food culture, different customs - I wouldn’t expect all chopstick cultures to have the exact, same dining etiquette.

Honor and respect other cultures that utilize the chopstick and their practice/ dining etiquette of it.

Speaking of etiquette, some customs can throw you off, especially when encountering norms that are totally opposite of your own. An example of this is when you eat Japanese noodles, such as Soba, Somen and Udon. Yes, you use your Hashi to pick up the noodles. No, you do not need to curl the noodles around your utensil like some do with Spaghetti. Then, you slurp up the noodles and hey, go ahead and make noise. Interestingly enough, the noodles just don’t seem to taste as good without the sound effects.

There’s a scene in Mr. Baseball where Tom Selleck is served noodles at his Team Manager’s house and confronts this eating practice. Perhaps a little exaggerated, but it does portray the noodle-eating situation.

Then we have the premise that sometimes dining etiquette is just basic, common sense. Like, not pointing at people with your Hashi or holding it like a weapon! Let’s leave that to Hitchcock’s Norman Bates, shall we.


Also, piercing food with your Hashi may not be a good idea either. This act seems to denote the use of weaponry or the stabbing of someone.

Some styles (etiquette) of eating are simply based on religious or social customs and traditions. For example, sticking your Hashi into a bowl of rice. This is a religious practice, done when someone has passed away. If done at any other time, it’s considered to be quite ominous. It's considered to be so ominous that the wife (Japanese-American from Hawaii) wouldn't allow me to shoot the actual image of the Hashi stuck in the rice. Kind of like how some people wouldn't get married on Friday the 13th.


Also, if someone is trying to serve you something with the Hashi, allow the person to place the food on your plate. You shouldn’t try to receive it with your own Hashi. This is said to resemble the ceremonial rite of picking up the bones, of a cremated person.


Clinking bowls or china with your Hashi carries the superstition that evil spirits will arise. Yep, we may want to stay away from that, folks! We've got enough problems, as it is.

It may be wise to not hover over food with your Hashi like an LAPD helicopter searching for a suspect, or to go digging around inside that bag looking for your favorite-colored M&M. These moves can be considered annoying. Make up your mind before choosing what to eat and go straight in for the kill (choose from the top of the pile, in this case). Decisiveness counts, it seems!


Here’s one more for the road. Slicing or cutting into your food with a Hashi in each hand should probably be avoided. I guess it just doesn’t look good, especially if you’re at a $100-plus-per-head, high-end Japanese restaurant.


Well, the list is even longer, but I suppose that these are the bare minimums you may want to remember, so as not to offend anyone (or embarrass yourself) while enjoying a pleasant or important meal. Again, these are based on the Hashi (Japanese culture) and may not be applicable to the chopstick culture, in general.

The disposable Hashi (Waribashi) has made its presence known. This Japanese-influenced invention is so widespread, that even people in Hawaii view it as an everyday thing. A lot of it has to do with sanitation…cleanliness. We all want to maximize our eating experience as much as possible. I guess it's just human nature. You probably wouldn't want to eat your dinner in a public restroom, would you, if you could help it?


It’s kind of like how you wouldn’t want to share a toothbrush with strangers, even if it’s been totally disinfected. But some view these disposable types as a waste of a natural resource and carry their own reusable ones, A.K.A. My Hashi, whenever they eat out. I’ve witnessed this noble practice, while living in Japan. Knowing myself, though, I’d probably forget My Hashi every time at the food joints (especially if I’ve had one too many beers!). That’s a lot of non-disposable Hashi waste, if you ask me. My forgotten My Hashis would litter the garbage cans of many an eating establishment! Wouldn't that be considered taking two steps backwards??? I don't know...

If you believe in this movement, get yourself a My Hashi. A Hashi carrying case can be purchased as well. You can check out my online store if you live in an area with no Japanese retail establishments.

I have a little suggestion for those of you who are dating. If you plan to take your date to a nice Japanese restaurant, buy your companion a portable Hashi set with the carrying case.

Show your companion how to use the Hashi and give the Hashi set as a gift. This way, even if you get dumped, at least your companion will always remember you for teaching him or her how to use the Hashi, to maximize the Hashi-eating experience. Sometimes that's better than you-know-what. Happy eating!!!

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